thanks to the guy i call my brother
i'm dreading to go to camp
i was rather excited
but since he came back
not ever for a day
after seeing him for 5mins
he scolded me
talked bad about me
and remind me why i really hated him before he left
looks like he didn't change a single bit
he has nothing better to do
so he'd be going for the camp
like seriously
how extra can you be
but obviously his skin is thicker than a rhino's hide
so he's going
and i feel like not going
what makes it worse?
is the mother's obvious favouritism towards him.
i mean..
he's freaking 22.
he should know whether he wants to bathe before he goes out with his frens.
he's totally ablebodied
u dont have to cut fruits for him, clean his room for him and do everything for him now do u?
and in contrast
not only do i have to do things for myself.
i have to do things for the family too.
its so obviously unfair.
and i have a feeling the unfairness would only get worse.
i dont really want to live in my house anymore.
i feel like my family's a family.
but i'm not in that family.
i feel like a maid.
they are all close to each other.
then i'm just the loner who no one likes.
my siblings n parents communicate n talk.
but they dont do that with me.
my parents basically dont care about me
my siblings dun talk much to me. dont include me in their plans.
they never do.
to them i'm just an irritating spoilsport.
cus i used to cry when they bullied me
what was i, as a little girl, supposed to do?
suck it up and get bullied?
what am i?stupid?
i just feel like i dont belong in my family.
i have this urge to run away.
maybe one day i'd be able to find a place that i really belong.
a place where i feel like home
where ppl appreciate me for what i do
a place where...
i dunno..
i dun have to be ashamed for being myself.